








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2857 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2683 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2599 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1365 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,039 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deine Mudda | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | michor | 48% | 166 |
| #3 | ]TdG[cordio | 48% | 168 |
| #4 | ]TdG[daweed | 46% | 259 |
| #5 | Sakmar Deag | 44% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[daweed | 22 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ]TdG[cordio | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Sakmar Deag | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | BigBadBru | 4 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[daweed | 704 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 426 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Sakmar Deag | 344 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | ]TdG[cordio | 130 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | iron_flash | 93 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iron_flash | +5.78 | 52 | 72 |
| #2 | ]TdG[FatRandy | +2.94 | 49 | 68 |
| #3 | Sakmar Deag | +0.94 | 37 | 55 |
| #4 | ]TdG[daweed | +0.31 | 27 | 65 |
| #5 | ]TdG[cordio | +0.04 | 13 | 62 |





