








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5004 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2972 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 591 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 3661 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,430,110 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seth | 17 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | [GR5] Math87 | 8 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Zouvae | 7 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Heros | 5 | 0.0060 |





