








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,737 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 904 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1488 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1211 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1134 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,406 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jr2 | 59% | 80 |
| #2 | DCB6113 | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | RogueSquidward | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | ScottyVolta | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jr2 | 59% | 80 |
| #2 | DCB6113 | 53% | 81 |
| #3 | RogueSquidward | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | ScottyVolta | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DCB6113 | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | jr2 | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ScottyVolta | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DCB6113 | 205 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | jr2 | 148 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | RogueSquidward | 137 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | ScottyVolta | 53 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScottyVolta | +2.45 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | RogueSquidward | +2.16 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | DCB6113 | +0.82 | 82 | 54 |
| #4 | jr2 | +0.23 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | Mr. CEO | -1.71 | 53 | 58 |





