








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1395 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1741 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1168 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1137 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,033 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tryffis | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | jupe | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | visamu | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Loukku | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | nempula (?) | 58% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nempula (?) | 187 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Eepis | 146 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | iMAS | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | jupe | 94 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | tryffis | 78 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myssy | +1.88 | 57 | 77 |
| #2 | iMAS | +1.65 | 76 | 79 |
| #3 | nempula (?) | +1.30 | 83 | 74 |
| #4 | tryffis | +1.08 | 64 | 75 |
| #5 | jupe | +0.91 | 52 | 72 |





