








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1077 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 975 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1203 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1432 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,659 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUDY[u_u] | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Loukku | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | jupe | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | PASHiON++ | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | JJerE | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Eepis | 57% | 44 |
| #9 | nempula (?) | 54% | 28 |
| #10 | tryffis | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | visamu | 48% | 25 |
| #12 | Sturm1 | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myssy | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Eepis | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myssy | 159 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | tryffis | 125 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #3 | nempula (?) | 117 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Eepis | 92 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | JJerE | 43 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJerE | +4.67 | 91 | 84 |
| #2 | RUDY[u_u] | +2.42 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | PASHiON++ | +1.87 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | Myssy | +1.30 | 53 | 76 |
| #5 | iMAS | +1.01 | 74 | 77 |





