








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 886 matches | ||
| Wingman | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 147 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




167 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 59,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21149 | 36% |
| Smokes | 14361 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10530 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 13143 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,427,189 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rom | 53% | 356 |
| #6 | dem <3 PinkSpider | 52% | 153 |
| #7 | Meooh | 51% | 106 |
| #8 | P0p0y0 | 51% | 112 |
| #9 | Dedarkℤ 💢 | 50% | 769 |





