








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2197 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2027 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2233 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1695 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,818 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MACK | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | Fly^ | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | bicik | 59% | 100 |
| #4 | nok ツ | 58% | 72 |
| #5 | BJM | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | REMAKE_- | 56% | 57 |
| #7 | nrc | 55% | 75 |
| #8 | czito | 53% | 73 |
| #9 | dn1ex | 51% | 45 |
| #10 | lamciak | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bicik | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | nrc | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | czito | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MACK | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | REMAKE_- | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bicik | 339 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | nrc | 212 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | czito | 165 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | MACK | 160 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | lamciak | 153 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bicik | +2.22 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | MACK | +2.11 | 74 | 84 |
| #3 | dn1ex | +0.93 | 88 | 53 |
| #4 | nok ツ | +0.34 | 77 | 81 |
| #5 | req | +0.29 | 75 | 65 |





