








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 13% |
| Smokes | 730 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 783 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,569 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Tomi =DD | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Sebadinho | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | ookooo | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | Opossumi | 64% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ✪ kipe32 | 49% | 86 |
| #8 | Top$u | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Koalagodz | 42% | 43 |
| #10 | Zyrk | 41% | 56 |
| #11 | w1nkziE | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kipe32 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Zyrk | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ookooo | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | w1nkziE | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Opossumi | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kipe32 | 360 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zyrk | 183 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sebadinho | 116 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Opossumi | 106 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Koalagodz | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | +5.21 | 81 | 44 |
| #2 | Tomi =DD | +3.24 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | ookooo | +2.45 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | w1nkziE | +1.91 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Top$u | +1.47 | 83 | 72 |





