








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2092 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2603 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3080 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2248 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,037 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damien | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | AlluP | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Eosray | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | Ruspe | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | ✪ kipe32 | 44% | 95 |
| #16 | Koalagodz | 44% | 57 |
| #17 | Zyrk | 41% | 71 |
| #18 | tiistai on mureke päivä | 37% | 27 |
| #19 | GeT_JuPpE | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrg | 418 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | ✪ kipe32 | 322 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Zyrk | 229 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Peguri | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Top$u | 166 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrg | +3.94 | 80 | 84 |
| #2 | Top$u | +2.24 | 88 | 78 |
| #3 | w1nkziE | +1.70 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | tiistai on mureke päivä | +0.97 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Eosray | +0.93 | 56 | 67 |





