








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1924 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1937 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1517 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1555 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,695 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gevin .|. | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | KennyBBM | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | freetv | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | jascha | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | jaegarN :X ♿ | 80% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buster | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | LeftTap | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | F4XENBERG | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | jaegarN :X ♿ | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | TrixY | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeftTap | 137 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | ScumbagSpruck | 88 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | jaegarN :X ♿ | 74 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #4 | F4XENBERG | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | buster | 66 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | der, der der derbste is. | +3.29 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | TrixY | +3.25 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | Gevin .|. | +2.90 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | KennyBBM | +2.47 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | freetv | +2.06 | 90 | 66 |





