








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2081 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2103 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,948 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4XENBERG | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | N0KA | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | ScumbagSpruck | 54% | 79 |
| #4 | LeftTap | 52% | 136 |
| #5 | plex | 51% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeftTap | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ScumbagSpruck | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | F4XENBERG | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | J@NNICk | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Puniii | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeftTap | 288 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | ScumbagSpruck | 221 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | F4XENBERG | 170 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | plex | 147 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | J@NNICk | 125 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F4XENBERG | +3.47 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | N0KA | +2.76 | 81 | 77 |
| #3 | LeftTap | +2.17 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | Puniii | +1.33 | 73 | 80 |
| #5 | TrixY | +1.16 | 83 | 72 |





