








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1381 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2226 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1936 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1885 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,781 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stonz | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | shuwz- | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | PSYKO | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | TheRock | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Knekess | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | shuwz- | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | PSYKO | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | TheRock | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Knekess | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | db* | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | db* | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | shuwz- | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | PSYKO | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Stonz | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Knekess | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | db* | 260 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | shuwz- | 175 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | PSYKO | 123 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stonz | 120 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Knekess | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shuwz- | +1.45 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | Stonz | +1.20 | 68 | 79 |
| #3 | db* | +1.13 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | TheRock | +0.75 | 76 | 66 |
| #5 | PSYKO | +0.48 | 69 | 65 |





