








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2418 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2225 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2580 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2779 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,583 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flipflava | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Freckle | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | keev | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | schröttinger | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Gandalf™ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schröttinger | 504 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | k0bbel™ | 379 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | flipflava | 294 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | Freckle | 211 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | PinkyRRP | 167 | 0.17 | 3 min |





