








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3234 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3228 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2945 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2507 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,796 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | schröttinger | 44% | 32 |
| #11 | onsim | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | k0bbel™ | 41% | 29 |
| #13 | g4tsby | 40% | 30 |
| #14 | toy1. | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freckle | 472 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Lenny | 211 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | schröttinger | 141 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | k0bbel™ | 127 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | onsim | 119 | 0.18 | 2 min |





