








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3107 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4546 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4527 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3714 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,550 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meDDn | 73% | 56 |
| #2 | MDMA-- | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Dopa_ | 60% | 77 |
| #4 | z3n | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | K-K | DerSuff | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dopa_ | 60% | 77 |
| #4 | z3n | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | K-K | DerSuff | 58% | 24 |
| #6 | XyLoNm^ goes !nSanE | 55% | 154 |
| #7 | HorstOfWar | 53% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XyLoNm^ goes !nSanE | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | HorstOfWar | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Dopa_ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MDMA-- | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | meDDn | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XyLoNm^ goes !nSanE | 467 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | HorstOfWar | 408 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | meDDn | 326 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #4 | Dopa_ | 72 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | K-K | DerSuff | 57 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meDDn | +3.28 | 81 | 83 |
| #2 | MDMA-- | +2.43 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Bucky | +1.82 | 69 | 82 |
| #4 | z3n | +0.63 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | K-K | DerSuff | -0.22 | 59 | 68 |





