








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1654 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1021 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 954 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 827 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,210 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRGR | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Nohte | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | ASS CANNON | 53% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Nohte | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | ASS CANNON | 53% | 96 |
| #6 | hades | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASS CANNON | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | hades | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASS CANNON | 413 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | TRGR | 127 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | hades | 65 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 38 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mar (not-toxic for cs2) | +3.07 | 92 | 50 |
| #2 | Nohte | +2.48 | 51 | 72 |
| #3 | ASS CANNON | +0.85 | 76 | 75 |
| #4 | Assume | +0.70 | 86 | 59 |
| #5 | TRGR | +0.51 | 73 | 70 |





