








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3441 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3044 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3083 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3133 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,652 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | genesis | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | sekret[f] | 61% | 227 |
| #3 | dizzylife | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | gunnlock[f] | 60% | 341 |
| #5 | mmr philantrophist | 59% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sekret[f] | 61% | 227 |
| #3 | dizzylife | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | gunnlock[f] | 60% | 341 |
| #5 | mmr philantrophist | 59% | 51 |
| #6 | elim[f] | 54% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gunnlock[f] | 35 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | sekret[f] | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | elim[f] | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | mmr philantrophist | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gunnlock[f] | 1323 | 0.19 | 38 min |
| #2 | sekret[f] | 1080 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #3 | elim[f] | 300 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | mmr philantrophist | 298 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #5 | genesis | 108 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekret[f] | +2.02 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | mmr philantrophist | +1.97 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | genesis | +1.67 | 96 | 57 |
| #4 | dizzylife | +1.40 | 90 | 62 |
| #5 | gunnlock[f] | +1.22 | 81 | 74 |





