








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 663 matches | ||
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10378 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9083 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8273 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9530 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,419,941 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | genesis | 71% | 69 |
| #2 | mmr philantrophist | 63% | 107 |
| #3 | sekret[f] | 61% | 256 |
| #4 | Nerox[f] | 60% | 341 |
| #5 | dizzylife | 58% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | mmr philantrophist | 63% | 107 |
| #3 | sekret[f] | 61% | 256 |
| #4 | Nerox[f] | 60% | 341 |
| #5 | dizzylife | 58% | 78 |
| #6 | elim[f] | 53% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekret[f] | 18 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Nerox[f] | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | elim[f] | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | mmr philantrophist | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | genesis | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekret[f] | 1136 | 0.21 | 27 min |
| #2 | Nerox[f] | 889 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #3 | mmr philantrophist | 545 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | elim[f] | 389 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | dizzylife | 211 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmr philantrophist | +2.45 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | sekret[f] | +2.28 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | dizzylife | +1.77 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | gunnlock[f] | +1.52 | 80 | 74 |
| #5 | genesis | +1.47 | 95 | 59 |





