








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,507 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1161 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 722 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,092 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robert Lewandowski | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Gandalf the Pug | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | VAC_Noris | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | ℓatajΛcy | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | wujko | 44% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | eonjasty | 42% | 111 |
| #7 | dex | 40% | 121 |
| #8 | Kazcmar | 40% | 77 |
| #9 | Rozyna | 30% | 69 |
| #10 | pieniu | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wujko | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | eonjasty | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Kazcmar | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Rozyna | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eonjasty | 504 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | wujko | 265 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Kazcmar | 223 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | dex | 200 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | pieniu | 95 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf the Pug | +5.80 | 84 | 84 |
| #2 | wujko | +3.30 | 82 | 85 |
| #3 | Robert Lewandowski | +3.03 | 92 | 53 |
| #4 | VAC_Noris | +2.98 | 77 | 69 |
| #5 | eonjasty | +0.68 | 81 | 79 |





