








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4475 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7886 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6139 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5121 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4655 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,778 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf the Pug | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | ddd | 57% | 53 |
| #3 | Robert Lewandowski | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | rockstar | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | bart. | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | wujko | 48% | 291 |
| #9 | ℓatajΛcy | 48% | 189 |
| #10 | Rozyna | 46% | 193 |
| #11 | Kazcmar | 46% | 196 |
| #12 | StM | 42% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wujko | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Kazcmar | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | dex | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ℓatajΛcy | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | bart. | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wujko | 822 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #2 | dex | 732 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #3 | Kazcmar | 634 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | ℓatajΛcy | 520 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | Rozyna | 248 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf the Pug | +4.63 | 85 | 83 |
| #2 | wujko | +2.42 | 81 | 82 |
| #3 | Robert Lewandowski | +1.75 | 89 | 59 |
| #4 | eonjasty | +0.91 | 79 | 78 |
| #5 | bart. | +0.14 | 62 | 58 |





