








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 36% |
| Smokes | 314 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 135 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 272 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,450 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigachad | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ArkenGAHD | 100% | 11 |
| #3 | Stora Semester Väskan | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | hinox | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Scruul | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | waverB) | 64% | 14 |
| #8 | Dalahaest | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | Ayes 00-04 | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | Adolen | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | Luftslott | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hinox | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stora Semester Väskan | 36 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | waverB) | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | hinox | 31 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | ArkenGAHD | 21 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Adolen | 20 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArkenGAHD | +4.32 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | frasse | +3.40 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Lakiiluuk ツ | +1.96 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | Scruul | +1.81 | 90 | 65 |
| #5 | Stora Semester Väskan | +0.80 | 78 | 76 |





