








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 39 matches | 2,034 | |
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 27% |
| Smokes | 667 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 530 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 516 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,924 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Adolen | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Scruul | 48% | 48 |
| #10 | basher | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | MamaMaestro | 40% | 5 |
| #12 | Cirbyman | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adolen | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Cirbyman | 1 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scruul | 93 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Stora Semester Väskan | 73 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lakiiluuk ツ | 58 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | basher | 48 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | hinox | 29 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MamaMaestro | +2.90 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | Stora Semester Väskan | +2.36 | 76 | 78 |
| #3 | ArkenGAHD | +1.85 | 90 | 54 |
| #4 | Lakiiluuk ツ | +1.43 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | ant9n | +1.39 | 92 | 69 |





