








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 24% |
| Smokes | 180 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 347 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 214 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,943 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Draven | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Pk_bang | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | It'sRonnieBitch | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | stefand0g | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | Heza | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Tommi | 33% | 6 |
| #13 | toti | 29% | 7 |
| #14 | stubbur89 | 25% | 12 |
| #15 | solvigunn | 14% | 7 |
| #16 | rontron | 0% | 4 |





