








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3763 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3578 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3005 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,062,238 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suNrize | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | -hazey- | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | BONK777777 | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | nS | 55% | 65 |
| #5 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Milked͎ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | -hazey- | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | SID | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Neon | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | oom | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LazyYak | 306 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Neon | 241 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | SID | 208 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | 23.4° | 167 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | BONK777777 | 152 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonk | +2.27 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | suNrize | +1.26 | 73 | 64 |
| #3 | SID | +0.57 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | 23.4° | +0.54 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | BONK777777 | +0.43 | 74 | 48 |





