








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 603 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,830 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2359 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2496 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2721 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2423 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,175,333 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeSelele | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | R42 (REISKA) | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | ellupew | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Plantse | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Khimera | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | LubO | 51% | 77 |
| #15 | Stere | 50% | 14 |
| #16 | HEIJJARI | 48% | 31 |
| #17 | Havuton | 46% | 28 |
| #18 | Nokkamies | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plantse | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | LubO | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Rottis | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Noname | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Blobal Beagle | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plantse | 477 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rottis | 348 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | LubO | 217 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Noname | 201 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Blobal Beagle | 149 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scorbutus | +2.37 | 71 | 73 |
| #2 | Stere | +1.70 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | Plantse | +1.58 | 67 | 84 |
| #4 | R42 (REISKA) | +1.20 | 42 | 62 |
| #5 | Noname | +0.83 | 69 | 73 |





