








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 495 | 17% |
| Smokes | 730 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 911 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 713 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,037 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donn1klu7s | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | DivisioN | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Morendiz | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | Biggie Smalls | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | konneh | 54% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hrafnkell | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | 'SýningarmaðuriNN | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Moquai | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | TOMPER | 17% | 6 |
| #12 | eMbo | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varholm | 3 | 0.0160 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | konneh | 249 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | zerang | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Biggie Smalls | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | 'SýningarmaðuriNN | 49 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | DivisioN | 49 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donn1klu7s | +3.98 | 83 | 79 |
| #2 | konneh | +2.75 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | Morendiz | +2.69 | 67 | 75 |
| #4 | Varholm | +2.14 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | DivisioN | +1.09 | 49 | 69 |





