








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3728 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2484 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3459 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3848 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,987 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 614 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Schriis | 43% | 44 |
| #13 | sLg|FiRE | 42% | 218 |
| #14 | C1rus.de | 42% | 53 |
| #15 | Rantanplan | 35% | 37 |
| #16 | LiZa | 33% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|FiRE | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | DKMNTL | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Jon4s | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | tobi4s | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | PanDoodle | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|✪uestionmark | 461 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | sLg|rAzEr | 455 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | DKMNTL | 422 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | AzE | 400 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | sLg|FiRE | 282 | 0.06 | 7 min |





