








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1792 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1557 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1662 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 825 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,148,730 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | C1rus.de | 42% | 24 |
| #14 | Jon4s | 39% | 31 |
| #15 | clickmyname | 36% | 11 |
| #16 | LiZa | 33% | 63 |
| #17 | Rantanplan | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DKMNTL | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | sLg|FiRE | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Jon4s | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | clickmyname | 2 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Rantanplan | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg | Josh Homme | 336 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | DKMNTL | 330 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | sLg|FiRE | 152 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | LiZa | 86 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jon4s | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |





