








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 486 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2684 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2460 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2499 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1218 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,563,839 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | C1rus.de | 42% | 38 |
| #11 | JD | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | -k3nnyStr3ss | 35% | 23 |
| #13 | Schriis | 33% | 21 |
| #14 | LiZa | 27% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AzE | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | tobi4s | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | sLg|FiRE | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | sLg | Josh Homme | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Jon4s | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AzE | 651 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | sLg | Josh Homme | 330 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | sLg|FiRE | 219 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jon4s | 192 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | tobi4s | 138 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tobi4s | +3.63 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | AzE | +1.99 | 49 | 74 |
| #3 | sLg|Noumet | +1.54 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | sLg|rAzEr | +0.90 | 56 | 65 |
| #5 | -k3nnyStr3ss | +0.58 | 75 | 58 |





