








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8852 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9003 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5564 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5864 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $649,711 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbarcaUC | 76% | 46 |
| #2 | RACER-X | 65% | 152 |
| #3 | csgomate | 63% | 60 |
| #4 | mR' | 63% | 161 |
| #5 | SAILES SSR | 63% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕Jota ♕ | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | n1111- | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | mR' | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | RACER-X | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | csgomate | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mR' | 338 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | メTian <c0> | 337 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | n1111- | 205 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | iCEWOLF فلسطين حرة | 182 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | RACER-X | 160 | 0.06 | 3 min |





