








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2556 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2515 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4619 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3741 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,004 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | deedee | 38% | 110 |
| #15 | puss | 38% | 16 |
| #16 | eple | 34% | 61 |
| #17 | RoyalB | 29% | 17 |
| #18 | Ok1 | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deedee | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | siNppa | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Ønlinehero | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Thez | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | eple | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deedee | 678 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | siNppa | 462 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | Ønlinehero | 287 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | waytookebab | 278 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | eple | 236 | 0.18 | 6 min |





