








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2854 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3480 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3587 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $772,435 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ønlinehero | 61% | 54 |
| #2 | siNppa | 55% | 80 |
| #3 | ö Laars | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Maldoren | 49% | 133 |
| #5 | deedee | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lämsy | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | Brooke Logan | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | eple | 43% | 21 |
| #9 | Ok1 | 42% | 31 |
| #10 | Nottie | 39% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deedee | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Maldoren | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | siNppa | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Ønlinehero | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Brooke Logan | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maldoren | 479 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | deedee | 449 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #3 | siNppa | 377 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ønlinehero | 207 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nottie | 109 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ö Laars | +4.92 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Ønlinehero | +4.05 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | deedee | +2.77 | 82 | 80 |
| #4 | eple | +1.43 | 59 | 75 |
| #5 | Brooke Logan | +0.90 | 83 | 44 |





