








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1053 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 619 | 18% |
| Smokes | 825 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1024 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,049 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fakeme | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | ProYo | 80% | 25 |
| #3 | atari teenage riot | 72% | 36 |
| #4 | faaazed | 72% | 61 |
| #5 | psycho | 63% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | m1keeh | 46% | 24 |
| #12 | myTrusT ツ | 44% | 9 |
| #13 | you | 43% | 14 |
| #14 | Tottii | 25% | 8 |
| #15 | wipseN:D | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psycho | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | m1keeh | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faaazed | 455 | 0.36 | 12 min |
| #2 | psycho | 172 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | atari teenage riot | 142 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | ProYo | 115 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | PM | 78 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wipseN:D | +3.55 | 75 | 87 |
| #2 | faaazed | +3.28 | 79 | 78 |
| #3 | kck- | +1.85 | 83 | 79 |
| #4 | PM | +1.75 | 76 | 77 |
| #5 | fakeme | +1.51 | 81 | 74 |





