








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 309 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
3428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4936 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4055 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3613 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,578 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krausii | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | MadMat | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | timbow | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | zoaH_ | 54% | 227 |
| #5 | Oliver Geissen | 53% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Oliver Geissen | 53% | 264 |
| #6 | FataL | 52% | 278 |
| #7 | peteR | 52% | 54 |
| #8 | Ratze pistolero ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 51% | 71 |
| #9 | Tottii | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FataL | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Oliver Geissen | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Tottii | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliver Geissen | 1248 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | FataL | 1091 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | zoaH_ | 776 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #4 | Tottii | 563 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #5 | MadMat | 381 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MadMat | +1.46 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Krausii | +0.92 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | FataL | +0.85 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Ratze pistolero ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +0.43 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | timbow | +0.20 | 81 | 69 |





