








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3901 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3979 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3908 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2901 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,544,010 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quarky | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | MRxRED | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | 兎 pr1mo | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | peteR | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | MadMat | 61% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | shift11 | 54% | 24 |
| #12 | z0K | 54% | 227 |
| #13 | FataL | 53% | 282 |
| #14 | Ratze pistolero ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 52% | 63 |
| #15 | Tottii | 52% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mb0t | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | FataL | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Oliver Geissen | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Tottii | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oliver Geissen | 1220 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | FataL | 1201 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #3 | z0K | 1160 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #4 | Tottii | 794 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #5 | MadMat | 209 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wipseN:D | +3.75 | 68 | 83 |
| #2 | quarky | +2.44 | 88 | 83 |
| #3 | MadMat | +1.92 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | MRxRED | +1.82 | 79 | 76 |
| #5 | xd0nkey | +1.65 | 78 | 71 |





