








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Esplay | 46 matches | 1,851 | |
| Renown | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2166 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1606 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1842 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1861 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,552 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magnejulkveld | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | vibZ3t0r1 | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | HUGO BAWS | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Rewnie | 54% | 113 |
| #5 | s | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | stigmissile | 43% | 28 |
| #18 | Kombaja major | 40% | 50 |
| #19 | Posjii | 34% | 32 |
| #20 | Avil0s | 33% | 18 |
| #21 | Goodkat | 33% | 33 |





