








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 898 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 307 matches | ||
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,560 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12198 | 39% |
| Smokes | 8060 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3878 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 7424 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,408,214 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | syndrolic | 55% | 283 |
| #7 | Gelato | 53% | 43 |
| #8 | LvkE | 51% | 37 |
| #9 | chad | 50% | 64 |
| #10 | Source 2 Test Servers aren't rea | 49% | 112 |





