








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3950 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4609 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3811 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3530 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,900 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 819 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naps | 56% | 99 |
| #2 | Hank the tank | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | oj | 54% | 50 |
| #4 | Jarno Rekiranta Neekeri | 52% | 63 |
| #5 | Wise Monke | 51% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Wise Monke | 51% | 102 |
| #6 | Beetle Juice | 51% | 134 |
| #7 | ✪Kim Possible | 50% | 50 |
| #8 | i <3 olivia rodrigo | 48% | 33 |
| #9 | Veeti Karvainen | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarno Rekiranta Neekeri | 26 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | naps | 14 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Veeti Karvainen | 13 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Beetle Juice | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Wise Monke | 8 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beetle Juice | 336 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | oj | 193 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Wise Monke | 158 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | naps | 153 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jarno Rekiranta Neekeri | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Veeti Karvainen | +4.01 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Jarno Rekiranta Neekeri | +3.25 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | Hank the tank | +2.64 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | mr.von muhqdawqjuhqsr.wiseman | +2.28 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | naps | +2.07 | 69 | 59 |





