








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1832 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 612 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6581 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1860 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 5634 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6116 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,286,215 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 918 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | パSoheiこ僧兵 | 63% | 293 |
| #2 | em0kr0t | 62% | 233 |
| #3 | chechenya | 61% | 571 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | パSoheiこ僧兵 | 63% | 293 |
| #2 | em0kr0t | 62% | 233 |
| #3 | chechenya | 61% | 571 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chechenya | 33 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | em0kr0t | 27 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | パSoheiこ僧兵 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chechenya | 1101 | 0.10 | 30 min |
| #2 | em0kr0t | 884 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #3 | パSoheiこ僧兵 | 766 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chechenya | +1.98 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | パSoheiこ僧兵 | +1.95 | 96 | 59 |
| #3 | MAXIZØR | +1.70 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | em0kr0t | +1.55 | 77 | 76 |





