








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 997 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 708 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3355 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6306 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4434 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5700 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,647,800 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Monko | 47% | 51 |
| #8 | Hillo | 46% | 468 |
| #9 | siippari | 44% | 203 |
| #10 | Z__ | 43% | 273 |
| #11 | MULKERS | 42% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sHOwtimE | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Hillo | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Z__ | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Hurri | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | MULKERS | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sHOwtimE | 1298 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | Hurri | 1094 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #3 | Hillo | 833 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #4 | Z__ | 805 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #5 | Arska | 580 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shady | +3.47 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | Hillo | +1.56 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | sHOwtimE | +1.11 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | siippari | +0.56 | 48 | 48 |
| #5 | Monko | +0.44 | 54 | 52 |





