








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1028 | 34% |
| Smokes | 647 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 663 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 686 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,846 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeffery_z | 100% | 11 |
| #2 | Schmoney | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | predat0r | 67% | 112 |
| #4 | reVo | 67% | 96 |
| #5 | NozeyGoblin | 65% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | predat0r | 67% | 112 |
| #4 | reVo | 67% | 96 |
| #5 | NozeyGoblin | 65% | 108 |
| #6 | res1n | 65% | 48 |
| #7 | LOW TRUST FACTOR LARRY | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | predat0r | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | NozeyGoblin | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | reVo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NozeyGoblin | 562 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | predat0r | 389 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | reVo | 197 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | res1n | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jeffery_z | 46 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | predat0r | +3.95 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | Jeffery_z | +3.58 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | NozeyGoblin | +3.01 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | Schmoney | +1.36 | 65 | 43 |
| #5 | reVo | +0.96 | 67 | 49 |





