








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 650 | 19% |
| Smokes | 891 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 870 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 952 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,819 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOW TRUST FACTOR LARRY | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | Jeffery_z | 76% | 21 |
| #3 | Cakes | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | reVo | 65% | 77 |
| #5 | TuRbii | 65% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Cakes | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | reVo | 65% | 77 |
| #5 | TuRbii | 65% | 48 |
| #6 | predat0r | 62% | 106 |
| #7 | NozeyGoblin | 61% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cakes | 6 | 0.0432 |
| #2 | reVo | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | predat0r | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | NozeyGoblin | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Jeffery_z | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NozeyGoblin | 527 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | predat0r | 356 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | reVo | 174 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | TuRbii | 75 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jeffery_z | 52 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeffery_z | +6.15 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | predat0r | +3.96 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | LOW TRUST FACTOR LARRY | +3.85 | 83 | 15 |
| #4 | NozeyGoblin | +3.04 | 81 | 57 |
| #5 | Cakes | +2.17 | 73 | 39 |





