








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1403 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1411 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1405 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1326 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1073 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,033 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EMPERIUM | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | SNOKEN | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | mode push | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Laserturken | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Ev1 | 53% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | eQo | 22% | 9 |
| #19 | epitome | 21% | 28 |
| #20 | Toby | 17% | 12 |
| #21 | Tjommien | 17% | 12 |
| #22 | FADED ® Sláva Ukrayíni! | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikaeliX | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Ev1 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Laserturken | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | epitome | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Kelran | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mode push | 194 | 0.39 | 6 min |
| #2 | epitome | 168 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | zhiken | 153 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kelran | 131 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | MikaeliX | 124 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DreaMyyy | +2.23 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | SNOKEN | +1.81 | 85 | 77 |
| #3 | eQo | +1.17 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | Laserturken | +1.13 | 92 | 81 |
| #5 | EMPERIUM | +1.12 | 76 | 69 |





