








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1355 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 713 | 15% |
| Smokes | 791 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2300 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1094 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $403,245 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CarotteDansTonQ | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | GnoleCoriace | 49% | 140 |
| #7 | TiLiLi | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | Nano | 36% | 55 |
| #9 | العم ألفا خمسة. عش | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boah | 16 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Nano | 14 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | GnoleCoriace | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | العم ألفا خمسة. عش | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | SmiLy | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GnoleCoriace | 340 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nano | 233 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Boah | 182 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr Jack | 175 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | العم ألفا خمسة. عش | 141 | 0.11 | 3 min |





