








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,244 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 931 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1518 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 817 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,112 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Demonara | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | payne | 52% | 58 |
| #6 | _Skruf_ | 44% | 77 |
| #7 | Habibi | 40% | 103 |
| #8 | On1co | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | payne | 191 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Habibi | 175 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | _Skruf_ | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Uncle Bens Rice | 65 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | On1co | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |





