










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 460 | 41% |
| Smokes | 271 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 198 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 181 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $156,473 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baplo | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Kreuzschlitzschraubenzieher "Max | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | krid$$$$ | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | (GER)ntlemen MR.CRAZYFRAG99 | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | hag1 | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snedvriden | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | hag1 | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | (GER)ntlemen MR.CRAZYFRAG99 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | p | 1 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snedvriden | 81 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | dionysus | 77 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | hag1 | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | (GER)ntlemen MR.CRAZYFRAG99 | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | krid$$$$ | 20 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baplo | +5.05 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | krid$$$$ | +2.70 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | p | +1.85 | 93 | 66 |
| #4 | dionysus | +1.11 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | snedvriden | +0.75 | 66 | 64 |





