








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1747 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1922 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1346 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,044 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamsty | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | not igor | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Saty | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Elvin | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Bobbski ™ | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morten N. | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | SHIGGAE | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Gamsty | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Bobbski ™ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHIGGAE | 262 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Morten N. | 229 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gamsty | 154 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Elvin | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | jEWLEN | 49 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClNasty | +1.67 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | BotKS | +1.57 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | Gamsty | +1.56 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | SHIGGAE | +0.96 | 60 | 75 |
| #5 | ig☻r | +0.73 | 77 | 62 |





