








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 704 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 117 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4653 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5469 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5877 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,705,827 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r4w | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | DAvi | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | kfinimpar | 46% | 186 |
| #4 | Foerster | 46% | 100 |
| #5 | [Dr] Cr!zU | 46% | 338 |





