








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4310 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3796 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4430 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3846 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4021 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,526,109 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | BrokkoCop | 43% | 122 |
| #13 | blu | 43% | 53 |
| #14 | DAvi | 43% | 51 |
| #15 | harlekin | 42% | 38 |
| #16 | Luffy-Eyss | 33% | 72 |





