








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3373 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3239 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2981 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2503 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,923 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 476 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LB | 55% | 89 |
| #2 | flawsum | 51% | 211 |
| #3 | fredso Gaudreau | 50% | 151 |
| #4 | skefN | 50% | 217 |
| #5 | Snudorf | 49% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | flawsum | 51% | 211 |
| #3 | fredso Gaudreau | 50% | 151 |
| #4 | skefN | 50% | 217 |
| #5 | Snudorf | 49% | 183 |
| #6 | painiac | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawsum | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | skefN | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Snudorf | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | fredso Gaudreau | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | LB | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skefN | 1212 | 0.27 | 43 min |
| #2 | Snudorf | 707 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | flawsum | 659 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #4 | fredso Gaudreau | 460 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #5 | LB | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flawsum | +2.14 | 73 | 73 |
| #2 | painiac | +1.95 | 90 | 68 |
| #3 | skefN | +0.63 | 45 | 78 |
| #4 | sk!rb | -0.19 | 55 | 77 |
| #5 | Snudorf | -0.98 | 32 | 79 |





